Sunday, August 3, 2014

Consent Is Sexy As Hell

The erotica genre is full of sexy bits and steamy pieces. We like to read about things happening to us that we'd never, ever, ever want to happen in real life. That's kind of the point, isn't it? To confront the things that maybe scare us but that turn us on in spite of, or maybe because of, that fear.

The language of erotica is often forceful because--well, that's sexy. I think there's not a woman around who doesn't wish, at least on some level, that her partner desired her so completely that he or she simply couldn't resist taking her in all kinds of kinky, messy ways. We like to think of ourselves as delicate and hesitant and maybe even somewhat inexperienced, and we love the idea of someone wiser, someone knowledgeable, teaching us what we love to have done to us, even if we aren't totally sure ourselves.

But something is missing in erotica: active and enthusiastic consent. Verbal and enthusiastic consent simply isn't seen as sexy. But why can't erotica readers and writers demand that we change the language the genre from forceful to consensual?

The lack of active consent is a dangerous thing. It serves to contribute to the idea that consent isn't really necessary. It's bad enough for men to hold this view of women, but it's tragic for women to believe it of themselves. When the sex industry, including erotica, promotes the idea that consent doesn't have to be verbal or enthusiastic, it can damage women. At best, it might make a woman feel like saying "no" is all part of the fun. At worst, it can convince her that her partner's unwillingness to slow down or stop is a compliment rather than assault.

Consent doesn't equal boring sex. It doesn't mean a loss of fantasy. A woman can have her bodice ripped open and her trembling breast exposed every bit as easily with a "yes" as with "embarrassed, downcast eyes." In fact, consent opens up a ton of opportunities for creative sex-play. Consent is sexy as hell, and it's time that we insist on it in all aspects of our sex lives, from actual sex to the books we read in the tub.


Monday, June 2, 2014

Alyssa Steel Interviewed by Mya Larose

Originally posted at, on http://milegul.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/mondays-tea-with-alyssa-steel.html Monday, 2 June 2014


Monday's Tea with Alyssa Steel



I’m so excited to have Alyssa Steel join me for this week’s Monday’s Tea guest, and I can’t wait to hear more about her latest book, Forget Romance: Five Tales of Erotica


Forget Romance: Five Tales of Erotica from Alyssa Steel




Isabel: The Reluctant Mistress- A virginal peasant girl is reluctantly thrust into the spotlight as she auditions to join the king's court of mistresses. Do You Trust Me? Shelby and Chris are a not so happily married couple on the brink of divorce. One day, Chris asks her if she trusts him and Shelby has to decide how far she will go to please her husband and save her marriage.

Taken by Surprise- Jennifer often drifts into fantasies, and she and Alec enjoys sharing their secret desires with each other. One day, Jennifer comes home to discover that Alec has gone to great lengths to fulfill some of her darkest fantasies. Fighting her fears, anxieties, and indoctrinated social mores prove to be difficult for her as Alec leads her deeper and deeper into her fantasy world.

The Concert- After two years of a hot and heavy office flirtation, Mike and Lori are finally going out on a date. When Lori runs into a friend during dinner, she gets some advice that is sure to knock Mike off his feet. Although nervous about making herself vulnerable, she follows her friend’s advice and ends up experiencing the most amazing night of her life.

His Heat, My Desire- After her fiancĂ© moved out without a warning, a young woman decides go to a party. She hopes he will be there so he can see that she’s not heartbroken. She decides to take a short cut through an alley and comes face to face with her deepest desires




Now she’s here to share a few things with us and maybe we’ll even get a hint of what is coming up soon.

Q: Welcome Alyssa, I’m so glad you could join us.

Alyssa: Thank you for having me. I think this will be fun.

Q: Can you tell us a little about your background and how you started writing?

Alyssa: What is there to say? I’m just another erotica writing, homeschooling, atheist, feminist trying to make vodka money in the Bible Beltwhere, by the way, I can’t buy vodka everywhere, and only after 12 on Sundays. Damned blue laws. But I digress.
I’ve been making up stories in my head since I was a little kid, and I first starting writing “books” when I was about 8. They were really just ridiculous little booklets made out of construction paper and staples. I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler, so the illustrations were laughable, but I think the writing was quite good for an eight year old. I pestered my whole family into buying my books, but the only person who ever bought one was my grandpa.

Q: What do you find hardest about writing? Easiest?

Alyssa: Finding the time is far and away the most difficult part about writing for me. As a mother who homeschools a middle school boy, my days are pretty much filled with fighting over math, trips to the skate park, pretending I’m interested in Minecraft, and making sure my laptop is always on tight lockdown. I wouldn’t want him to stumble across anything I write under this pen name.

Q: what is your favorite Book and why?

Alyssa: It’s hard to pinpoint a favorite book. I love so many books for so many reasons, and the ones I love most are constantly jostling each other in and out of the top spots.  Among some of my favorites are: Lightning by Dean Koontz;The Minotaur Takes a Cigarette Break by Steven Sherrill; ASoldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin; Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte; The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera; and pretty much anything written by Franz Kafka.The Castle is my favorite of his longer works and Poseidon is my favorite Kafka short story.

Q: What one word would you use to describe yourself?

Alyssa: Caffeinated.

Q: A little bird told me that you love cooking. Is it true?

Alyssa: I absolutely adore cooking, especially when I have the time to try new recipes and the resources to have fresh and quality ingredients. But life can get busy and sometimes dinner becomes an afterthought so that I end up leaning on my tried and true, quick fix meals. I do try to cook as much from scratch as possible, though.

Q: How many books have you written?

Alyssa: Written and published are two very different words. The number changes depending on what your meaning is and whether or not my construction paper booklets, and the other novels of my teenage years count.

Q: Tells us about your 1st book.

Alyssa: Well, as I recall, it had something to do with a puppy and a goose, who were best friendsWait, I imagine you mean something more recent than 1982. Isabel: The Reluctant Mistress was the first book I published under Alyssa Steel, which is my pen name. It was born out of a fantasy I’ve been having since I was old enough to fantasize.

Q: And last, do you have anything you would like to say to your current readers or to those that haven't yet read your work(s)?

Alyssa: I write the things that turn you on. What’s your superpower?

Q: Thank you Alyssa Steel for joining me today on Monday’s Tea.  I hope you have enjoyed your visit as much as I have.

Alyssa: My pleasure! Cheers!




Saturday, March 1, 2014

Good Luck With The Pie

A work in progress...
I stood in front of the apples and tried to remember which kind the recipe called for. I wondered how much it would really matter in the end. Who knew there could be so many different types of apples? Were they really all that different from each other? My hand reached out to grab a shiny green apple, but it hesitated.
“Excuse me.” His voice was raspy near my ear. Close, but not quite close enough to be creepy.
“I’m sorry,” I pulled my hand back. “I want to make a pie, but I can’t remember what kind of apples the recipe called for. I guess I’m overwhelmed by all the choices.” Shut up! You sound like a damned idiot!  I looked up and saw that the man was smirking. His grey-blue eyes twinkled good naturedly.
“Pie, huh. Do you make pie often?”
I shook my head and just stared at him like some sort of fucking dope. He was one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen. He was tall, six feet at least, and his shirt matched the color of his eyes.
“Do you mind?” he reached his hand out and brushed against my arm to get to the apples.
“Huh? Oh, sorry.” I moved out of his way and stood in front of the Red Delicious apples. I picked one up and examined it for bruises. Tried to act like I knew what I was doing.
“You don’t want that kind for a pie. Too mushy and not near enough flavor.” He was holding one of those green apples. He tossed it in the air and caught it. “This is the kind you want.” He brought it to his mouth, and the apple made a snapping sound as his teeth broke the skin. He chewed a couple of times, then swallowed. “Juicy. Sour. Sweet.” He wiped a little juice off his his lower lip and sucked ever so lightly on his finger.. “Delicious.”
My throat went dry and I imagined myself pulling that apple from his hand and taking a bite from the same spot he bit. It would be like kissing without the contact. A jittery giggle escaped my throat and I forced a cough to try and get myself under control. What was wrong with me? Why was I acting like a teenager?
“Thank you.”
He stepped closer to me and smiled that amused smile again. “You should always listen to your instincts. You were right.”
Listen to my instincts? My instincts wanted to push him against the apple display and kiss him, taste the apple he had just eaten and decide for myself if that was the kind I wanted. The last thing in the world I needed to do was listen to my instincts. Snap out of it!
“Did you get what you needed?” I nodded at the empty produce bag in his hand.
“Not yet.” His eyes caught mine and held them prisoner for several long seconds before I was able to tear my gaze away.
“Oh. Okay. You just asked me to move so you could get to them, but if you don’t need these..” I reached out and grabbed an apple at random. My knees were wobbly, and I dropped it on the floor when I tried to shove it into my bag. “Shit.” I bent over to pick it up, but he beat me to it. Picked it up and put it back on the pile.
“Avoid that one. It’s bruised.” he took two green apples put them into his bag, twisted it closed and walked away. “Good luck with your pie.” he called over his shoulder just before he turned the corner.
What was that? I asked myself.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Warming Up This Holiday Season

I love the holiday season. And to celebrate my joy with you, now through the end of the year, you can find all of my eBooks on All Romance Books for half off. Cheers!

Forget Romance: Five Tales of Erotica
     
Forget Romance: Five Tales of Erotica
By: Alyssa Steel
Published by: Alyssa Steel
NOTE: This is a previously published work. The title, author, and/or publisher may have changed. Forget Romance: Five Tales of Erotica from Alyssa Steel that include a virginal peasant girl reluctantly thrust into the spotlight of a king's court of mistresses, a desperate couple on the brink of divo more...
Isabel: The Reluctant Mistress
     
Isabel: The Reluctant Mistress
By: Alyssa Steel
Published by: Alyssa Steel
A virginal peasant girl is reluctantly thrust into the spotlight as she auditions to join the king's court of mistresses. more...
Do You Trust Me?
     
Do You Trust Me?
By: Alyssa Steel
Published by: Alyssa Steel
NOTE: This is a previously published work. The title, author, and/or publisher may have changed. Shelby and Chris are a not so happily married couple on the brink of divorce. One day, Chris asks her if she trusts him and Shelby has to decide how far she will go to please her husband and save her mar more...
His Heat, My Desire
     
His Heat, My Desire
By: Alyssa Steel
Published by: Alyssa Steel
NOTE: This is a previously published work. The title, author, and/or publisher may have changed. After her fiancĂ© moved out without a warning, a young woman decides go to a party. She hopes he will be there so he can see that she’s not heartbroken. She decides to take a short cut through an alley more...
Taken By Surprise
     
Taken By Surprise
By: Alyssa Steel
Published by: Alyssa Steel
NOTE: This is a previously published work. The title, author, and/or publisher may have changed. Jennifer often drifts into fantasies, and she and Alec enjoy sharing their secret desires with each other. One day, Jennifer comes home to discover that Alec has gone to great lengths to fulfill some of more...
The Concert
    
The Concert
By: Alyssa Steel
Published by: Alyssa Steel
NOTE: This is a previously published work. The title, author, and/or publisher may have changed. After two years of a hot and heavy office flirtation, Mike and Lori are finally going out on a date. When Lori runs into a friend during dinner, she gets some advice that is sure to knock Mike off his fe more...